


Purpose

by Oliver__Niko



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Gen, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23277490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oliver__Niko/pseuds/Oliver__Niko
Summary: Kratos Aurion thought he lost all meaning to live, and has been uncertain on how to process having that back again. He and his son will make mistakes, but as long as they're willing to fight through it, they will come out stronger than ever.
Relationships: Kratos Aurion & Lloyd Irving
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662550
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> This is quite a more uplifting fic for these bingo fics so far! This is for the prompt 'was too hard on them.' I'm a little anxious to post this, as it's been a while since I've played Symphonia and I have only ever written for it once. But I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thank you to Krissey for requesting this.

What does one do, when they believe all had been torn from them, only to realise the falsehood of this after all?

He saw them. He used his blade _himself._ Kratos Aurion struck _her_ down, the woman he loved, because that is the only option he had to save his son. Yet in the end, even that grew pointless, as that boy faced the similar fate of death.

Or at least, that is what he believed for so many years.

Finding his own family had given Kratos proper meaning to live, for the first time in countless years. Losing them meant he lost that meaning in turn. All he could do was return to his original goal from all those years ago, and return to Cruxis, because what other option was there for a man who lost what put a smile on his face again?

Perhaps it would have been easier for everything to stay this way. Does the path ahead grow simpler when all a person has is a single goal, no distractions along the way? With no love to nurture? Perhaps so. But there is no true joy there, nothing but tending to a pride caused by knowing you’ll change the world.

Still, this is how Kratos lived for years, up until that day.

The day he realised that Lloyd is not dead, after all.

Since then, an internal battle has been growing inside Kratos. A part of him desires to connect. He can see similarities of Anna in that boy, and perhaps of himself as well, before the weight of his duties and a suffering world weighed this heavily on his shoulders. But what can he do, after so long? Lloyd has his own life. A new father, cherished friends. Where does Kratos fit into this?

All he can do is watch from afar, keeping an eye on him, as he finds a new guilt; that he never tried to learn the truth, if Lloyd survived. Perhaps Kratos had been too cowardly to face that ‘death’ head-on.

It’s not as though Lloyd deserves him regardless, when Kratos betrays them time and time again. That is what he thinks for some time.

But the truth is revealed one day. And, little by little, something changes. Between them, in Kratos himself, as he realises how much he cares for that boy.

Enough so that he sometimes makes mistakes in how to approach him.

“Will you quit lecturing me?!”

“I did not give you Flamberge only for you to waste its power.”

Lloyd’s eyes narrow, grip tightening on his blades. “I’m not wasting it. I’ve gotten way stronger!”

“I won’t deny that. But there’s still mistakes you’re making, almost as though you’re now relying on your swords’ power.”

“I’m—I’m not!”

“Then how come you are failing this terribly?”

It’s stated harsher than intended. Lloyd’s jaw visibly clenches, and Kratos even notices the swords trembling a little from anger. “Maybe if you were actually around, you could have taught me to not pick up bad habits, _master.”_

Kratos can only stare silently from those words. He’s certain his disappointment is evident in his eyes, although wonders if that applies to his regret, his guilt, everything else as well. Because, in a sense, he agrees.

The image of the day he believed he lost his son returns to his mind.

Lloyd’s mouth is open too, Kratos not the only one filled with regret. Both are silent. Watching each other, trying to find the right words to say. Perhaps they have never been so in sync until this moment.

It’s Lloyd who finally breaks that silence, when he mutters, “Sorry. I was too hard on you.”

“No, I’m the one who has been too hard on you. All I’ve done since we met is criticise.”

“That’s just because you want me to get better.”

“Perhaps. But you need praise to do that, as well. Anyone does,” Kratos adds, when Lloyd looks mildly offended, and might pout over ‘being treated like a child.’ “Since I met you again, all I’ve thought about is helping you get stronger, so you can fend for yourself. No matter how our paths crossed, I didn’t want to see your blades be your downfall. But I know I’ve been too hard on you for a long time. It’s … it’s not your fault I wasn’t there to guide you.”

“It’s not yours, either.” Lloyd’s eyes are fixed on the ground. “I shouldn’t have said that before, about you not being here. It’s not that simple.”

Kratos pauses, trying to decide on his next action. He chooses to sit down on a fallen log nearby, patting the space next to it. Lloyd’s eyes flicker between that spot and his father. Thankfully, he accepts the invitation, hiding his swords away as he sits down.

“All I want is for you to be safe,” says Kratos, after a minute of silence passes. “I want to do what I can to help you survive against Mithos. It appears as though my worrying has gotten the better of me, and I’m nitpicking skills which I know are enough to keep you going.”

“You think so?” That hopeful voice strikes pain in Kratos’ chest.

“You have grown a lot since when I first met you. Both physically and emotionally, and all of that centres in those blades. As I’ve said before, I’m not as used to training with someone who uses two swords, so that fault is mine. Perhaps what I believe are mistakes is merely part of your style.”

“Maybe. I don’t know, I feel like I can always improve, even once this is over.” There’s a pause, before Lloyd adds, in a voice that is a little quieter, “I … I’d like us to train more together, when it _is_ over. If you’d like to.”

“Would that be necessary?”

“Maybe not. But I’d like to spend more time with you.” Another pause, and the slightest colour has crept to Lloyd’s cheeks as he lowers his head. “As—as father and son, you know?”

Kratos’ mouth opens, no sound coming out for several moments as all he can do is stare. “I didn’t know you’d like that.”

“I mean, I already have a dad, so don’t go thinking you can replace him. But … I can have two dads, I guess.”

“As long as you’d want to. There’s no obligation.”

Lloyd’s head rises, and a grin has found his face. “Nah, I know. But if I have two dads, I have two different types of people to beat!”

A chuckle follows those words, and Kratos finds his chest filling with warmth and appreciation. The images of the past fade away, at least for this moment. It will never disappear completely. As he sits with his son _now,_ however, and looks into those bright, hopeful eyes, does he need to focus on the past and what-ifs? The questioning on any mistakes he has made?

What matters is the present, and what he does now. That he keeps that smile on Lloyd’s face.

“Then I would like to as well,” says Kratos.

He is certain that if Anna can see him right now, she will be smiling at long last, and be glad he has found a reason to live again.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, people can visit my Tumblr oliverniko to request an angst prompt, or my Twitter Oliver__Niko to request both this and/or a fluff prompt.


End file.
